


emotional bruises

by kissfortae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Abusive Relationship, Moving On, getting hurt, told through flashbacks, writing letters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29788305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissfortae/pseuds/kissfortae
Summary: calligraphy and penmanship were something jeno thought he was very good at. so good that his best friend would ask him to write letters for him to his pen pal seas away, to his boyfriend (or a total dick as jeno liked to call him), and most surprisingly, one to write to himself.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. how do i word this? - prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my babydoll ash](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+babydoll+ash).



donghyuck liked to call it 'incoming mail', jeno liked to call it pointless. but regardless, he always put down whatever he was working on to fulfill the job the younger had given to him a long time ago. usually it was only two at a time, sometimes three if he was writing to his family that week but either way, jeno never really bothered to read what was given to him, just mindlessly copying word for word until he finished the whole page. 

he figured the third note donghyuck handed him today was just another one to his family, or at least his sister. he saved that one for last as it was the longest, he liked to do the shortest first, just get through them faster. 

going through the first two were short and easy but as he came down to the last one, and unfolded the paper, two things caught his attention. the fact this it was two pages long, and his name plastered all over both of them. 

but it wasn't just a letter about himself, it was addressed to 'my love, jen'. 

jeno dipped his pen in the ink and began writing and reading at the same time, wanting to fulfill the other boys wishes, no matter how useless it was to rewrite this particular letter. it began, 

'my beloved, jen

i never thought the day would come when you would be on the receiving end of one of my letters. how silly it is that you are probably writing this one as well. thank you for always doing what i ask of you without question or complaint. no one else ever had that much trust and love in me before, i have to ask, are you mad?

you have given me nothing but great joy being with you, meeting your friends, loving each and every one of you in very different ways. thank you for making my lowly life a little more lively. 

i know what you think of me, the image of me that you hold in your head, but my dear sweet jeno, there is so much you are overlooking. like the fact that we met because you saved me from the worst relationship of my life. you seem to forget im not the perfect person you think i am, and while i love that about you, it is time for a change. 

i know much more about you then you to me and i think it is time to share, to fill in those gaps that you never knew about me. but first i want to tell you that i know. 

i know you think i saved you by as you put it, 'being the only thing that gave me something to truly live for', but i didn't. i didn't save you jen, you saved yourself. you pushed yourself to be great and to not give up.

i know you regret bringing me to meet your friends, i know how much you hated the way i instantly clicked with jaemin when it took us a month to be acquainted. i know how much it pained you that he asked me out in front of you, but that was just mark being mark. and i know how much it killed you to see ever so alone renjun, the one who never let you touch him, hug me a week later. i know all this, but i really didn't know why until recently. 

i know you fell in love with me when i first began staying with you. i know you cried to jaemin when i moved out to live with mark. i know you avoided the two of us for weeks because of it. 

im sorry jen. i don't think i ever said that. you quite possibly saved my life and i ruined not only one of your friendships but also your first love. 

i know so much about you and i left you wondering so much about me. im ready to tell you everything. 

but before i do and before i explain why im writing this letter, will u pass along a message to some people for me. 

for jaemin, could you tell him how much im gonna miss him. they say you only meet your soulmate once and i am sure gonna miss him. he was the greatest friend someone could ask for and i regret not moving in with him instead of mark. i know how much he wanted to protect me and i know me jumping into a relationship and moving in with him was so scary for jaemin. 

he was also nice to everyone and everything, that boy didn't have a mean bone in his body. i wish i could've learned that from him, taken all his good traits even his bad ones. like how overprotective he was or how he put others before himself. 

im gonna miss him so much so please tell him that. i am never gonna meet a friend like that ever again but that's okay, cause there is only one jaemin and he is perfect. 

perfect is a big word that i know he hates when people call him that, but oh well. an angel is an angel.

next is renjun.

it took me forever to figure out just exactly what i want to say to him. renjun fixed me what do you say to someone that fixes you?

it is like he could see inside me and knew exactly what i was gonna do or say before i did it. he knew exactly what i wanted and how i felt. and it scared me. he was so intuitive. he probably knew i was gonna do this before i even decided. i think he might be a witch. 

renjun, thank you. i know how much it killed you to let me or others touch you, to hug you or even just poke you. i know that the most important thing in the world to you is space, so thank you. i didn't even know you did this for me until after mark got mad that you would only ever let me touch you. at first i didn't understand, i thought maybe you liked me or thought i was family but no. you did this for me not you. you made yourself uncomfortable to make me okay. you gave me the warmth of a brother that i needed in those dark moments. you fixed me by hurting yourself and i have no idea how to repay you for that. but all i can say is thank you renjun. 

having people who love you and support you for who you are is something you guys gave me and i am so glad to have met you even if it tore me apart.

now jeno, i know you're reading this and wondering when i am gonna explain, so here it goes. 

im leaving. it is as simple as that. i am running away from my problems, from my fears, from my insecurities. i would always rather be safe then sorry, and that may destroy me in the long run, but for now it has kept me safe. im leaving and not coming back for awhile, please don't contact me jeno, i couldn't take it, i would come right back, and that's not what's good for the both of us. it seems pointless to run away from your problems when you have none, but i do have one, you jeno are my problem. 

my biggest insecurity, my hugest regret, and my emotional bandage that i finally need to rip off. i have so many emotional bruises that if i keep letting them fester and not treating them properly, they are going to kill my happiness. you left a huge bruise jeno, and it is not your fault, it is all mine; i made the biggest mistake i could ever make. 

i fell in love with you.'

it was as if jeno was shoved into one of those slow motion scenes in a film where he stops reading and looks up, hoping, expecting, wanting him to be there. 

but bursting through his door was not the boy that wrote that letter, but instead one mentioned in the letter. 

"mark called, he's gone."


	2. you're callin' me up to link up and figure shit out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno called it fate, how they met, donghyuck thought jeno just might be his savior

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw// this chapter mentions physical abuse but nothing too bad

donghyuck was never good at keeping his mouth shut, especially in times of danger. only realizing this as he ran for his life down the steps and out of the apartment building. leaving and never coming back, hiding and crying, and calling the cops were all part of his plans at the moment but running straight into a very cute stranger and jumping on him wasn’t one. 

not thinking and instead clinging onto him for dear life and whispering ‘please help me’ in the loudest voice he could muster at the time definitely didn’t help his plan at all. But when the big booming voice appeared and started yelling at donghyuck and he flinched into the strangers arms, the bigger boy holding on tighter, yelling back at the other man, he relaxed. He was helping?

He zoned out most of the yelling but when suddenly he was dropped he looked up just in time to catch the stranger punching his ex boyfriend. he heard someone near by calling the police and curled in on himself, trying to hide away from the rest of the world. he only passed out when a stronger arm guided him up out of the ball he was in and into their arms. 

when he regained consciousness all he could think was that he got a hold of him and he was going to be hurt. but then he looked around, realizing he was in a hospital, and calmed down. 

“how is it that im the one that got punched and yet you end up with a concussion?” he jumps away from the sudden noise next to him and turns to look at the stranger that had saved his life earlier. 

“oh my god, are you okay? i am so sorry, i didn’t mean to get you involved! I mean obviously i don't even know you. but still i am so sorry. im donghyuck.”

the other boy laughed and donghyuck got a good look at his face. He was very handsome, strong jawline and pretty soft eyes, with the biggest smile he's ever seen. donghyuck found himself smiling along with him. 

“hi donghyuck, im jeno, it is very nice to meet you. and don’t burden yourself, it was fun to punch that asshole in the face. can i ask though what happened? he was saying some pretty sick stuff, i kinda lost it.”

and once again, donghyuck was never good at keeping his mouth shut, so therefore he told his whole life story to a complete stranger. 

“that was my boyfriend, or ex i mean. we uh have kinda been fighting a lot lately and yesterday well i walked in on him with someone else, so i left and cried to my best friend jisung, and all this shit happened and i ended up hooking up with the guy and oh my god, i forgot to call him to tell him i got home okay. he was such a gentlemen. uh anyways, i told him, my ex i mean, and he lost it and hit me. like really hard, like see this bruise? thats from him.” he paused and looked at the other boy and saw him grimace and look at him with pity. 

“uhm then i tried to run and he pulled me by my hair but don’t worry i got away and i started running and then boom i ran into you and you saved my life.”

jeno frowned and gave him a smile, a sad smile, “im sorry that happened to you, he sounds like such a dick.” donghyuck laughed and smiled at him “for such a huge dick, he had such a small one.” when jeno choked on his spit, donghyuck only laughed more. “too much?”

jeno smiled, “so what now donghyuck?” the smaller frowned and played with his fingers, “i have to find a new place to live asap and then talk to my parents and sister. and then i have to file a police report and-” jeno cut him off.

“uh if you need a place, i have an extra bedroom? it’s pretty small but just to help you in the meantime to get on your feet.” jeno suggested. 

the boy smiled and lept forward, hugging jeno. “that would be amazing, thank you so much! you really are an angel oh my.” he said causing jeno to blush. 

“so why don’t you tell me about yourself donghyuck, what should i know?”

-

jeno smiles, gripping the paper in his hand. meeting donghyuck was one of the best things he ever got to do and he figured he will probably figure out where the other boy went when he finishes the note. 

there was nothing like saving someone who would always be lost.


End file.
